Previously...
It has long been alleged that Chuck Norris is hard as fuck. Harder than granite, it is even suggested that he put paid to the Periodic table of Elements by stating that there is only one element; that of surprise. Unless you've only just left Guantanamo Bay there's little excuse for not knowing about the legend that is Chuck Norris. But if you do have one, have a quick look here: Facts about Chuck Norris
Yes, once I found these comical, they raised a titter... I even believed these statements to be factual and truth, I trusted such facts more than I trusted Wikipedia. And that says a lot.
Why wouldn't I? Just look at some that Norris himself likes, if the man himself says it, it must be true?
And so on... it seems the wonder of Chuck Norris is such, that his toughness can never be questioned.
Until now.
Lastnight, during the hour you decide between bed and looking for an excuse to stay up, I found the film Fist Of Fury whilst channel skipping. As it was halfway through I was only absentmindedly watching it but something, something prompted me to look up the lead actor on Wikipedia. Do I really need to inform you that this lead actor was Bruce Lee?
What I found on Wikipedia leads me to suggest that this supposed legend of Chuck Norris is the product of foul play.
Allow me to explain. You've read this far now you may as well.
Bruce Lee is the original. The original iconic martial artist, the first film star ninja, he even has his own martial art for fucks sake! As far as I'm concerned, Chuck Norris pales into insignificance when compared to Bruce Lee. Just look at some of the physical feats listed on Bruce Lee's wikipedia and recognise that they are proven. 
What the fuck!? He could punch his fingers through a full, unopened can of coke? I can't even open a can of coke with my fingers properly! This man is a machine! He could catch grains of rice with chopsticks! And this is shit that has been witnessed by people, has anyone actually seen Chuck Norris run around the world so fast and punch himself?
Didn't think so.
I think what has happened here is that Chuck Norris facts were originally written with regard to Bruce Lee. They could have been robbed from him when he died or something. And maybe they only surfaced in the last few years because Chuck Norris took forever to translate the mandarin or cantonese or whatever it is into english. Yes, I am digusted also. How could you Norris? How could you?
What actually upsets me most of all during this is, according to wikipedia, Chuck Norris actually attended Bruce Lee's funeral. Shame on you Chuck. Shame. On you! You stood over that legend's grave whilst secretly plotting to steal his limelight. You may as well have squatted and laid a shit over the grave such are the manner of your actions, passing off the merits of Bruce Lee as if they were your own?
Look at this photo of you two together.
Just who do you think you are kidding? You don't even sport the same physique as the man, for fucks sake Chuck!
And seriously Chuck, what the fuck is this all about?
Guns? GUNS?!?!? When did you ever see Bruce Lee with guns you fucking fake? Get a grip.
Just who the hell do you think you are? For years you've passed yourself off as tough, you encourage these rumours, not facts, that you can't even authenticate, and you even dared turn up to the man's funeral. I spit on you Chuck, *ptuh!*
So there you have it folk, Chuck Norris is a fucking imposter.
God bless you Bruce Lee, you fucking badass.